The Pain

When I was 8 years old I witnessed a terrible accident in which my mom was seriously injured. It was 1982 and 30 years later she still deals with severe pain. As a child I truly thought she was going to die. The months she spent in the hospital away from us were heart breaking. Seeing and hearing her cry out in pain hour after hour, year after year. Nothing anyone could do about it. And pain medications rarely taking the edge off her pain.

Every time I hear an ambulance my heart sinks just a little. I fear for her and for myself. The thought of her passing is unbearable.

My dad did not know how to deal with her pain. He truly loved her and was devastated to see her in such a difficult situation. Our family was never the same.

My mom has been through a lot in her life and she has survived. I don’t know how she has done it. The effect of the pain on her life has not been pleasant. She’s not always able to be the nicest or have the energy she would like. And some people in the family seem to lack the ability to understand the situation she is in.

BUT my mom is a survivor. She fights through the pain and is happier now than she has been since the accident 30 years ago. My biggest hope is that we get another 30 years. I love my mom with everything I have. It’s hard for me to be so far away from her. At times I feel guilty for leaving.

When I do finally lose her I’m not sure how I’m going to react. It will be devastating.

I’m sitting here thinking about how we need to cherish our parents because time with them is short.